What can be broken and still works?
Simple question, right? The heart, of course. Everyone knows that, and whoever doesn't never had their heart broken.
Like everyone else, I've had my share of heartbreaks, some big, some small. Some breaks are clean and get mended, some cracks get papered over by the balm of time, but there are some you can never forget, because even though they may have healed, they leave behind a scar.
Here are my top heartbreaks, the ones that are etched indelibly in heart and mind:
1. Losing my father: I was only 11 when my father died, and at that time, I probably didn't grasp the enormity of the loss. All I knew was that mine wasn't a complete family. I didn't know how to deal with it so I never acknowledged the fact. To people who didn't know me, I didn't even mention it. It was many years before I could actually tell people who asked me about him that he was no more. The older I grew, the more I thought about him. And when I see my husband and our daughter together and the bond they share, my heart aches that I never had such a bond with my own father.
2. When my first love affair failed: I was all of 17, and maybe it wasn't love at all, but at that time, every fibre of my being was committed to it. It ended in heartbreak, of course, and caused a lot of grief even before it did. But now, after all these years, when I look back, I don't feel any regrets that it didn't work out, though I can't say I have fond memories!
3.Missing out on a scholarship: I had my heart set on the British Chevening scholarship for young journalists and when I was shortlisted for the interview, I was delighted. The joy was shortlived as I was not among those chosen that year. I remember sitting by the phone waiting for a call that never came. Even now, that crushed feeling is fresh in my mind. It was one of the biggest heartbreaks of my professional life.
4. When I lost my engagement ring: It was a simple ring: a narrow gold band with three tiny diamonds embedded in it. There was no big engagement party at which it was slipped on my finger. But it was the most precious piece of jewellery I owned. Until I flushed it down the toilet. Really! I was wearing it while washing clothes and it must have slipped off in the soapy water. Unaware of this, I poured all the water into the toilet and with it went my ring into the bowels of the earth! I only realised that this is what could have happened after searching high and low and retracing my steps and actions. I was heartbroken and even buying another ring to "replace" the lost one didn't really make up for the anguish. One lesson I did learn was to never wash clothes wearing rings!
Four major heartbreaks in my 40 plus years on earth -- actually not too bad, is it? Now I must think of the happiest moments of my life -- I'm sure there'll be more!
Simple question, right? The heart, of course. Everyone knows that, and whoever doesn't never had their heart broken.
Like everyone else, I've had my share of heartbreaks, some big, some small. Some breaks are clean and get mended, some cracks get papered over by the balm of time, but there are some you can never forget, because even though they may have healed, they leave behind a scar.
Here are my top heartbreaks, the ones that are etched indelibly in heart and mind:
1. Losing my father: I was only 11 when my father died, and at that time, I probably didn't grasp the enormity of the loss. All I knew was that mine wasn't a complete family. I didn't know how to deal with it so I never acknowledged the fact. To people who didn't know me, I didn't even mention it. It was many years before I could actually tell people who asked me about him that he was no more. The older I grew, the more I thought about him. And when I see my husband and our daughter together and the bond they share, my heart aches that I never had such a bond with my own father.
2. When my first love affair failed: I was all of 17, and maybe it wasn't love at all, but at that time, every fibre of my being was committed to it. It ended in heartbreak, of course, and caused a lot of grief even before it did. But now, after all these years, when I look back, I don't feel any regrets that it didn't work out, though I can't say I have fond memories!
3.Missing out on a scholarship: I had my heart set on the British Chevening scholarship for young journalists and when I was shortlisted for the interview, I was delighted. The joy was shortlived as I was not among those chosen that year. I remember sitting by the phone waiting for a call that never came. Even now, that crushed feeling is fresh in my mind. It was one of the biggest heartbreaks of my professional life.
4. When I lost my engagement ring: It was a simple ring: a narrow gold band with three tiny diamonds embedded in it. There was no big engagement party at which it was slipped on my finger. But it was the most precious piece of jewellery I owned. Until I flushed it down the toilet. Really! I was wearing it while washing clothes and it must have slipped off in the soapy water. Unaware of this, I poured all the water into the toilet and with it went my ring into the bowels of the earth! I only realised that this is what could have happened after searching high and low and retracing my steps and actions. I was heartbroken and even buying another ring to "replace" the lost one didn't really make up for the anguish. One lesson I did learn was to never wash clothes wearing rings!
Four major heartbreaks in my 40 plus years on earth -- actually not too bad, is it? Now I must think of the happiest moments of my life -- I'm sure there'll be more!
3 comments:
Nothing Random or Frenzied about these! For sure! Amazing! How the Heart Breaks build you to be who you are! The good and the baggage that maketh thee!
Uma so true ..these heartbreaks might look small or big now but the fact is that they make what we are today !
Sigh!
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